These Words
by But Friends Make Secrets
Summary: Set after "Sexy". Santana needs to vent  through song of course , has a surprise audience and an even more surprising confident. First Glee fic! R&R!


It wasn't supposed to end like this.

She had done it. She had looked inside herself, sorted through her feelings, and then told her. She told Brittney that she loved her. They were suppose to break up with their boyfriends and be best friends at school and something more when they were alone. They were suppose to keep it a secret and then eventually tell glee club and then inevitably get caught by the rest of their peers and then fight their way tooth and nail through the rest of high school until they could be together in peace.

It wasn't supposed to end with Santana Lopez alone and in tears.

Wiping furiously at her eyes, the ex-cheerio stalked through the almost empty hallways of McKinley High School. Sam had offered her a ride home, but she said she had some stuff she wanted to do before heading home. He had shrugged and leaned to kiss her, but only managed to catch her cheek.

Suddenly, Santana halted. God, she really was a gleek. She was standing in the (now completely empty) hallway, eyes still glistening with tears, heart cracking or breaking or something she didn't know what but it _hurt._ And she wanted to sing. All she wanted to do was belt something out so that maybe, _maybe _a little bit of the pressure in her chest will be relieved. Pulling out her iphone, she flipped through her music, trying to find the words she couldn't think of herself. She paused on a song. Stared at it, thought of the words, and smiled. She started the song, not bothering with headphones, instead turning the music up to fill the deserted halls as she continued walking.

_One song about a girl_

_Can't breathe when I'm around her._

Reaching the auditorium, Santana threw the door open, stalking down the side aisle.

_I'll wait here everyday_

_In case she scratch the surface_

_She'll never notice_

Reaching the stage, she pivoted on her heels, closed her eyes, and practically screamed to the invisible audience.

_I'm not in love!_

_This is not my heart!_

_I'm not gonna waste these words_

_About a girl…_

Santana panted for a moment, waiting for the next verse. She didn't think she had ever sang like this before. Had she cared to look, she would have seen her hands shaking.

_Last night, I knew what to say_

_But you weren't there to hear it._

_These lines, so well rehearsed,_

_Tongue-tied and overloaded._

_You never notice._

Taking a deep breath, she tried to believe the words she was singing.

_I'm not in Love!_

_This is not my heart!_

_I'm not gonna waste these words_

_About a girl…_

_I'm not in Love!_

_This is not your song!_

_I'm not gonna waste these words_

_About a girl…_

Images flashed through her mind, memories of the many boys, the many conquests in her life. But peppered throughout the meaningless faces, Brittney was always there.

_To be loved, to be loved,_

_What more could you ask for?_

_To be loved, to be loved,_

_Everyone wants_

_To be loved, to be loved,_

_What more could you ask for?_

_To be loved, to be loved,_

_Everyone…_

Santana closed her eyes again, letting the tears she had been holding back spill over her cheeks. She really thought Brittney would love her back…

Eyes clenched shut, hands fisted at her sides, and one foot stomping with the drums, she sang,

_I'm not in love._

_This is not my heart._

_I'm not gonna waste these words…_

Her voice cracked slightly on the words. Shaking her head, she belted out the last of the song stronger and louder,

_I'm not in love! _

_This is not my heart!_

_I'm not gonna waste these words_

_About a girl._

_I'm not in love!_

_This is not your song!_

_I'm not gonna waste these words_

_About a girl._

As the music ended, Santana was left on the stage, crying and shaking from the pure adrenaline of how much she had put into that song. It was her best performance yet, but the last thing she expected was applause.

She got it anyway.

Snapping her head up, Santana was faced with none other than Kurt Hummel, standing to the side of the auditorium and clapping softly.

"I must say, I'm impressed." He waltz forward, towards her. He wasn't in his Dalton uniform, having changed into grey skinny jeans and a blue turtleneck. At first the boy seemed as cool and indifferent as ever, but as he stepped onto the stage, Santana could see genuine concern in his eyes.

Quickly swiping at the tears on her face, the girl put on her best scowl. "What are you doing here Hummel? If you came to spy, you're a little late. Glee got out a while ago."

Shrugging, Kurt answered, "I know. I was supposed to see Mercedes today, but there was some sort of mix up with her parents so she had to leave to babysit her little sister. I figured as long as I was here I would indulge in a little nostalgia. I thought I might sing a song or two myself." He cocked his head to the side, looking at his former classmate curiously. "But it seems you beat me to it. Is everything alright?"

Crossing her arms, Santana raised her chin defiantly. "I'm fine."

Kurt raised an eyebrow in obvious disbelief. "In the words of my father, 'fine don't sing like you just sung.'… You want to talk?"

Santana blinked in surprise at the question. She and Kurt had never been close. She liked him, sure. He was a bit too much like Rachel for them to be good friends, but they still had that "glee bond", and she didn't think he deserved the crap he got from Karofsky and had been honestly sad to see him leave. _(Unknown to anyone else, for a week after Kurt transferred Santana started her morning by driving by Karofsky's house and egging his car. The jock told his friends his parents were driving him because his car was in the shop.) _But regardless, was this something she was willing to discuss with the boy? Hell, was this something she was willing to discuss at all?

However, as she thought about it, she realized that Kurt was probably one of the only people who could even remotely understand her situation. He knew unrequited love _(Both his crush on Finn, and Santana thought she overheard Mercedes and Rachel talking about some other kid shooting him down on Valentine's Day or something)_ and he could understand Santana's concerns about dealing with a relationship like _that _in high school.

So she told him. Everything.

Kurt stood and listened, never interrupting or judging, even when she discussed not wanting to deal with the crap he went through.

"Santana, I'm proud of who I am, but I wouldn't wish what I went through on anyone. This school has proven to not be safe for gays, so I completely understand not wanting to come out, or be openly in a relationship with the same gender in your case."

Santana smiled at the distinction at the end. She didn't think she was gay necessarily, she just… loved Brittney.

"As for the situation with Brittney…" Kurt continued. "I think you might just have to give it some time. These things have a way of working themselves out. I personally always thought you and Brittney would end up together eventually. But just be patient. Everything will make itself known one way or another in time."

Nodding slightly, the ex-cheerleader frowned. She didn't want to be patient, she wanted things to be okay _now._

"And Santana?" Getting the girl's attention again, Kurt added, "Don't deny your feelings."

It took a moment to realize what he was talking about, but then she remembered the song she had been singing, the words she wanted so, so badly to be true. Crossing her arms, Santana looked off to the side and scowled. "I don't get why people always make such a big deal. Love sucks."

"_Unrequited _love sucks." Kurt smiled knowingly.

Santana let out an exasperated sigh. "I feel like Rachel freaking Berry! Pining over someone like a lovesick puppy… who's been kicked."

Laughing, the other boy shook his head. "Ah, I've missed you." The statement surprised her, but before she could respond, he had continued. "Just because you're in love, doesn't make you any less Santana. Don't worry, you're still a badass."

Now they were both laughing. Smiling at the girl, Kurt looked down at his watch. "Oh shoot, I need to get home." Looking down at her iphone, Santana saw that is was indeed getting late. The two high schoolers walked from the auditorium and down the hallway in comfortable silence. When they exited the building, Kurt surprised Santana one more time by pulling her into a gentle hug.

Pulling away, Kurt smiled. "Call me if you ever need to talk, okay?"

Santana smiled back and nodded. Patting her shoulder, Kurt turned and began walking to his car. A few feet away, he called back, "Stay strong, sister! Courage!"

Watching him walk away, Santana mumbled to herself. "Yeah, courage…" Just as Kurt was opening his car door, she yelled to him, "Hey Kurt!"

Glancing up, he responded, "Yeah?"

Even from across the parking lot he could see her smile. "I've missed you too!"

* * *

**DISCLAIMER: (Yes my disclaimer is at the bottom. DEAL.) I don't own Glee (Ryan Murphy), or "About a Girl" (by The Academy Is...)**

**Sooo, I have mixed feeling about this. My first Glee fic! I absolutely love this song, and it reminded me of Santana and now I can't listen to it without picturing her singing it. But, especially at the end, did I make her too out of character? I honestly can't decide, so opinions would be greatly appreciated! (Honest opinions, even in flame format.) Also, I don't know, I just really wanted to have a Kurt and Santana moment. I actually think they have a lot in common attitude-wise. Plus, this whole scene is kind of based off of a Santana-version of Kurt's "Rose's Turn" (my favorite scene in the entire show). **

**Ah, whatever. Like? Dislike? Hate with a burning passion and are praying that I never curse the world with my writing again? I'd love to know! **

**Thanks for reading! xoxo ~BFMS**


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